Deep Thoughts: Could I survive a zombie apocalypse?

**** Warning – Walking Dead – Spoiler Alert ****
If you have not seen seasons 1 & 2 of the Walking Dead – do not proceed. This blog posts makes reference to a character who has bit it, or rather, has been bit / eaten.

Could I survive a zombie apocalypse?  With flesh eating psychos running around Florida this has become a legitimate question and is no longer the stuff of fiction.  A drug called “bath salts,” a cross between meth and acid, is accused of turning people into flesh eating monsters.  This drug was blamed for an incident in Miami when a 31 year old man, Rudy Eugene, was found chewing the face off a homeless person in May 2012.  Several other flesh eating incidents have also been reported over recent months which people are referring to as “zombie” attacks.  This has me wondering about my falcuty’s and if I’m ready to face the world’s impending doom.

Over the years I have conducted thorough zombie research and picked up the following valued lessons:

1) Keep up your cardio (Zombieland)
2) Always double tap (Zombieland)
3) Don’t look for shelter at your local pub (Shaun of the Dead)
4) Watch out for others who may be hiding bites and scratches (Walking Dead)
5) Stay away from zombie herds which are most likely to be found in the city (Walking Dead)

Since I’m armed with such valued information it seems like I may be in a good position to ward off a zombie attack.  To be certain, I visited the Walking Dead website to take the “which character are you” personality test.  I carefully considered and answered each question only to find, much to my dismay, I’m the old man of the show, aka Dale.  This did not sit well with me, in season 2 his character wandered off into woods and found himself serving up his intestines for zombie dinner.  I had to take the test again and reconsidered my answers thinking perhaps some more violence was in order.  My second attempt resulted in T-Dog a slightly better, yet still undesirable result, this character is flighty and makes stupid mistakes often.  With my third attempt at the personality test I let the zombies have it.  If it came near me I shot it, I acted first, thought later.  The results showed I had turned into a pure psychopath and most closely resembled Shane, a hot-headed cut throat who only has his best interests at heart.

The author of the Walking Dead graphic novels, Rober Kirkman, said in a good zombie story the characters will transform so much throughout the duration you will hardly recognize them in the end.  After my several attempts at this test I have to wonder if the results showed what the evolution of my personality would be in a zombie apocalypse.  To help me come to grips with the fact that I may not survive a zombie attack or may even become one myself some day I’ve created my zombie persona online as seen below:

Image

 

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